My Inner Thoughts

When you begin to think that life seems perfect, it all comes crushing down as time begins to envy you.
I once learn that problems are proportionate to time, and yes, time flew faster than I expected...to the point you don't even wanna live a second longer.
For when you do, you'll start to think about the future.
I do admit that I hate the future for I can never predict what lies ahead, and I'm afraid to do so.
So I live day to day...yes, I've been living in the present... even then, "Future" seems to catch up real fast.

But one day, all of my laughter will fade I can tell. It's amazing how I know nothing at all about the future, except that fact.
I'm hoping that what I've been foretold by the other side is true, that I would die at an early age.
I figured that if it's heartbreaking to live a future that you can't decide between divine and mortal love, I'd rather die knowing I own both.
It's harder than you think when it comes to deciding between divine love that you live for, and the person you'd die for.
At this point, Romeo and Juliet's tale seem like a drop of water in this ocean of dilemma I'm undergoing.
To others, leaving either one of these seems easy. Words may seem easy... but when both sides touch your heart so deep it brings tears to your eyes... you'd hesitate to even walk away from either one of them.

I can't take my own life, I've tried it dozens of times ever since I was a teen... Somehow, miracles happened each time I do so and I live over and over again.
But neither can I take another person's life (so Abraham sacrificing Isaac's strategy won't work here).
At a forked road, where you just feel like splitting in two, you'd rather die... (which isn't an option either)

So I pray that my future/death would be a peaceful one. That is all I'm interceding now...for strength to walk towards the future.